Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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