I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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