did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
