youre lurking in front of me
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
