Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
