just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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