bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
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I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
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YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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