I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
