your room smells of hookers.
And success
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
How does it feel to date your dad?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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