Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize