Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
