I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
