On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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