i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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