I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
