I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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