White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
