I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
