Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
