..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
