He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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