Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
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