I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
