I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You are a genius and a whore.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
