You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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