I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
