Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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