We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I am midnight drunk by noon
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
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