this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
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No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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