The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she smelled like a LAN party
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
