if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
is it fun? or sober?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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