Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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