I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize