i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
