She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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