Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
