I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
