Porn is love you can see.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Randomize