So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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