dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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