worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
