I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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