Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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