So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
