Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
