Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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