WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Someone shattered a urinal.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
