Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
being pregnant is like rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize