i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
