It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
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Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
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So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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