You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Houston, we have a blender
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
and you fell through a lawn chair
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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