so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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