I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
