hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
