You just made me feel so damn special
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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