I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
