we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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