I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
