just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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