Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
