moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
