i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
birth control should be required to get into college
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
