flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Sorry my hands just texted you
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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