Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
