His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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