Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
