she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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