So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
