these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
