You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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